This is the story I wrote for Yuletide - now that the reveal has taken place. Warning: if you try to play a "guess the references drinking game" with it you'd better be working in sips.

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Die Morgensheutegesternwelt
(Rated: T for hallucinogen use)
Fandoms: Young Wizards, Illuminatus! Trilogy, Sandman
Pairing: Tom Swale / Carl Romeo

Summary: A pair of wizards and an enormous heap of pop culture references walk into a music festival in Ingolstadt, Bavaria. Some abnormal things happen.

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Enjoy, everyone!

So for Yuletide I made the usual three requests, etc, etc.

My top request - which, while I would have loved either of the others, frankly took center stage because I've been Amber-obsessed lately - got so much love!

It was, basically, to explore and perhaps resolve some aspect of the relationship between Martin and Brand. And, if the writer wanted to, hit some of my kinks for friendly enmities and betrayal and forgiveness in the process. Oh, and slashy subtext. Massive spoilers for the books, if you haven't read them.

The wonderful, wonderful folk of Yuletide wrote me three. different. stories.

Even if it were politic to choose a favorite, I wouldn't be able to, because I love them all so much. They don't duplicate each other's content particularly. The first two have the most slashy context, they are allllll the kind of wonderful darkbright stories I favor, pain and ambiguity and desperation and hope and strangeness, and OH SO MUCH WIN.

DEAR YULETIDE AUTHOR LETTER FINAL (Updated 8:37 PM Pacific time Nov. 21) ( Chronicles of Amber, Phoenix Requiem, Wheel of Time )

For one. effing. time. I am actually SLEEPY at ten PM...

And then I realize I've gone and missed the Yuletide deadline because I forgot what day it was, and have to DO ALL THE THINGS before departing Saturday morning.

Emergency tea tiem. I need more sleep than this. And when I have the time to get it, I never wind up feeling sleepy properly. :P

Best "pepper spraying cop" manip I've seen yet. Stranger and more subtle than the others.

...we were discussing citation format right before class got out.

As the professor dismissed the class I asked loudly,

"If I were to reference a journal article on conjunctivitis... would that be a cite for sore eyes?"

Currently I am so angry about how the police are treating the citizens of this country that I'm more apt to choke on it than make coherent discourse.

So, here, have a filk about zombies instead. Memorize it and you will be able to "search and replace" when you hear the song in department stores, to fortify your heart against the onslaught of seasonal banality. That, at least, is a threat I can fight against with some efficacy. (I may actually record this if I feel my singing voice is up to the task.) Repost at will.

All I Want for Christmas is Brains (With fauxpologies to Mariah Carey's lyricist.)

I don't want a lot for Christmas
there is just one thing I need
I don't care about infections
They're collateral to me

I just want a brain to gnaw
More than you could ever know
Hear my moaned refrain:
All I want for Christmas... is braaaaaaaainnns.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
there is just one thing I need
I don't care about infections
They're collateral to me

I don't need to bite the dying
hiding in their barricades
Drastic measures just aren't needed
They'll reanimate where laid

I just want a brain to gnaw
More than you could ever know
Hear my moaned refrain:
All I want for Christmas... is braaaaaaaainnns.
Brai-ai-ai-aaaiins.

Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas
I'll shuffle toward you through the snow
I'll just keep on bashing doorframes
Knocking down the mistletoe

I won't make a list, my thumbs are
Gone and I can't hold a pen
And Santa Claus got bitten last week
Now he's lurching through your den

'Cause I just want your cranium
Ruptured like a ripened plum
That's all there is to gain
Baby, all I want for Christmas... is braaaaaaaainnns.
Brai-ai-ai-aaaiins.

Oh floodlights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of undead
Groaning fills the air

And everyone is screaming
I see the corpses steaming
How can I get to the thing I really need
Through these crowbars of carbon steel, oh-oh

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm hungry for
I just want the strength to smash
Through this barred and bolted door

I just want your brains to gnaw
More than you could ever know
Hear my moaned refrain:
All I want for Christmas... is braaaaaaaainnns.
Brai-ai-ai-aaaiins.

All I want for Christmas... is braaaaaaaainnns.
Brai-ai-ai-aaaiins.

(repeat final line)

I'm in an area with a lot of vegans. I respect the vegan thing (I'm not big on extremists of any kind, but that goes without saying) and I like the T-shirt that goes around - "Hail Seitan!" (Which, if you don't know, is a gluten-based food product that is pronounced like the devil. Pretty self-explanatory.) I think it's pretty funny, but it bugs me that I can't hail seitan anymore. :P

As such, I have constructed a response t-shirt which is now available on Zazzle. Enjoy!

Two versions, both available in light and dark colors:
Hipster/burnout font, light colored shirts; hipster/burnout font, dark shirts; rock/metal font, light colored shirts; rock/metal font, dark shirts..

Let me know if you want it in bumper sticker or mug form or anything, 'k? I'm waiting for the item to propagate through their system so I can add the design to other stuff too.

...I'm adding people I can identify from Ambercon NW; if you were at ACNW and I haven't added you, add me and I'll add you back. I liked everyone. :-)

(Added this userpic so that people who saw me swanning around the Edgefield dressed as Brand this weekend will have something to recognize.)

Hey: if you wanted to go to ACNW (Ambercon Northwest) but couldn't afford it or didn't have the time to come out all weekend, I've got an opportunity for you!

I'm short a player for my game, "Those Who Dream By Day", taking place on Saturday 10 AM - 4 PM or so. Simone has given me permission to slip someone in from outside the con to fill up the spot.

It's going to be an immersive and somewhat experimental game - I'd almost call it "psychological horror" but horror implies a level of bad outcomes that I'm not going for. Eerieness, then, disturbing imagery, evocative content; getting close and personal with your character's id. The short synopsis: you're Amber royals returning home from the Patternfall War to find that Tir na Nog'th is creeping out of its confines.

All players will be playing existing Amber characters, so I recommend that you be at least somewhat familiar with the setting and the characters. You don't have to be familiar with the DRPG; of all the RPGs I've played, it's really the easiest to pick up, and I have a freeform approach anyway.

If you want to play, contact me ASAP: character generation involves a short but evocative questionnaire that should be completed in advance.

Thanks!