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The Music of the Synapses

this tightrope made of sound

October 29th, 2012

[sticky post] How to help - SIGNAL BOOST THIS POST! @ 05:18 pm

Okay, guys. Several of you contacted me suggesting a signal boost. THIS IS THE POST TO SIGNAL BOOST. Feel free to pass it around far and wide.

Please don't use my real name in connection with it publicly: I've discussed my mental health problems openly in this journal. I really wish we lived in a society where that wouldn't be massively stigmatizing, but meanwhile, I've got to keep my expectations realistic for the one we've got... And I'd like to be open and honest somewhere, and for now, LJ is the place.

PROBLEM: I'm struggling with depression and trying to get back on my feet financially and emotionally.

GOAL: Any amount helps. Rent, bills, and minimum payments on things that are due now = about $500. I could also use money for food and filling my gas tank would be extremely helpful. Paying off the credit cards I've been using to live on for the last few months would leave me in a much less precarious position: that's roughly $3000.

And for serious, guys, if people want to buy $3000 worth of my art, it would be a MASSIVE self-esteem boost.

HOW YOU CAN HELP right now:

* Item sale:
Collage pendants, visual art
Beaded & crocheted jewelry

$5 for a 100-word simple voiceover, one clean take. I will add more complex listings to this later. I think I need to verify my account before I can put up things over $5.

Meanwhile if you want something more complex than this, we can negotiate it here or by email. In the $10-30 range, I can do snippets of incidental music on my Casio, and record surprise/prank messages for your friends. I can do both female and male vocal range through the magic of Audacity, so if you want it to sound like two voices, that's totally possible. Or if you ever wanted a customized voice-set for Baldur's Gate or another video game...

* Signal boost THIS post, where continuing updates will be posted. I may also post some used items for sale.

I'm trying to get out of the red in terms of self-image as well as financially. This means... the work, itself, is as important on some level as the money. I don't want people to give me money for nothing, right now, if I can avoid it. I'm trying to restore a sense of flow in my life, and part of that is being productive and helpful.

Pretty soon I'm going to be posting up "gig offers" where you can also commission services from me; watch this space. Meanwhile, if anyone has any bright ideas, I'm taking suggestions. If you wanted to just send me money, I have lots of skills at a "high-quality amateur" level and I would be happy to make or do something just for you, perform a publicity stunt for your project, et cetera.

December 12th, 2013

I live. @ 04:00 am

Mostly on my tumblr, blogging Homestuck with a side order of kink acceptance and mental health awareness. (Sometimes on Flight Rising, which is a pixel dragon petsite and enormously addictive, as amberite.) On testosterone again. Haven't figured out what the fuck to do with my life remotely at all whatsoever. Still love you guys.

That is all.

April 24th, 2013

Wires and Stars: Initiation (Complete!) @ 08:44 pm

mindtrack: accomplished accomplished

Okay, sorry I've been so totally out of contact. I'm mostly on my Tumblr right now because my fandom is most active there, as much as I'd rather it be here or on DW.

But anyway. We (titianArchivist and myself) have completed the first "book" of Wires and Stars, our Sollux/Psiioniic epicfic, and I have all these rambly thoughts to tell you sometime about creativity and how awesome it is to have a creative partner because this is the only novel-length work I've both completed and been genuinely happy with completing (same for Titian), and it's making me think about the possibility of going back towards writing as a career.

The series isn't finished, but the first part is finally out the gate. All seventeen chapters of it. WITH FANART ALL OVER THE PLACE, oh my god. Not by us, but by people who actually draw, wow.

Wires and Stars: Initiation

in chapters * as one piece

Story contains pseudo-incest [of the "characters are genetically related but don't have a human-style family relationship" variety], body horror, angst, hurt/comfort, age difference, mental health issues... let's just say our motto is "everything is beautiful and everything hurts", and we're dedicated to both dealing with really dark material and being ultimately kind to our readers as a baseline. It's an attempt to tell an ultimately hopeful story in a crapsack world.

We have an authorial policy, in response to a number of concerned questions: ask directly for spoilers if you need them. Fanfiction should be fun! It should be fun for everyone, at every level of narrative surprise comfort or lack thereof!

If you want to skip to the smut, we also wrote fingers of light, a 12k smutty one-shot that takes place just before the last chapter of Initiation. It's somewhat spoilery for the story arc of Initiation, but if you're a skip-to-the-smut sort of person (no shame in that!) you probably don't mind.

Still need to write up the FAQ of "things you need to know about Homestuck to make our fic comprehensible if you're not a Homestuck reader", but as a general principle, most of them are the sort of thing you'll know if someone has told you about Homestuck at length and if you keep the wiki handy: we're trying very hard with this to make it relatively accessible to non-Homestuck fans. And, if you're a non-Homestuck who wants to read it and is waiting on said FAQ, please let me know! It'll give me motivation to work harder. :-)


February 18th, 2013

Wires and Stars: Chapters 6, 7 and 8 @ 10:28 pm

- Part of Wires and Stars: Initiation by amberite and TitianArchivist -

(art by querulousArtisan)

Chapter 6: whenever I'm alone and you're lost out there

This is not something you can engineer.

This should not upset you as much as it does.

But: identify your variables, and you can give them parameters. You finally have a name, now, for the loss and the longing and the reaching; you know the shape of the shameful crack in your heart.

More chapter teasers below the cutCollapse )

Tags/warnings/etc at AO3.
And a bunch of new art in chapters 2, 3 and 7 and linked from chapter 5!

Sorry about the delayed updates. I've been mostly over on Tumblr, as there are more Homestucks there, even though I like LJ and DW better.

February 3rd, 2013

Wires and Stars: Chapter 6 @ 10:43 pm

- Part of Wires and Stars: Initiation by amberite and titianArchivist -

(art by querulousArtisan)

Chapter 6: whenever I'm alone and you're lost out there

This is not something you can engineer.

This should not upset you as much as it does.

But: identify your variables, and you can give them parameters. You finally have a name, now, for the loss and the longing and the reaching; you know the shape of the shameful crack in your heart.

Tags/warnings/etc at AO3.
In other news, there's now art in Chapter 2 and 3, and another piece going up soon!

January 24th, 2013

Wires and Stars: Initiation - Chapter 5 - "cup your hands like the conch to your ear" @ 05:16 pm

- Part of Wires and Stars by amberite and titianArchivist -

Chapter 5: cup your hands like the conch to your ear

“I think, I think last time you could hear me I asked you to tell me everything. I. I still want that.” You look him square in the eye, still can’t get over how his eyes reverse-mirror yours, and your stupid defensiveness goes to brittle nothing like a drying soap bubble.

In which attempts are made to divulge memories, assuage discomfort, and consult a third party, with mixed success in all cases.

Tags/warnings/etc at AO3.

January 18th, 2013

Wires and Stars: Initiation - Update! @ 07:34 pm

mindtrack: accomplished accomplished

prologue (aka chapter 1) * chapter 2 * chapter 3

Chapter 4: it's a hollow play but they laugh anyway

Summary/teaser: You crawl back into your command centers through a narrow sideways channel of machine code, back to your body where she wants you: your body the central emplacement on the front line from which you can never retreat.

And in another time and place, Aradia is awesome.

(ETA: Leave comments and/or rec if you enjoy it, please! Longfic is hard, and for some reason I seem to be blacklisted from Tumblr tags, meaning I'm having trouble reaching my core audience as that's where most of Homestuck fandom lives.)

January 9th, 2013

Wires and Stars update - Chapter 3 uploaded on AO3! @ 03:15 pm

(Sollux/Psiioniic epic in progress by amberite and TitianArchivist. Warnings/ratings up on AO3. Body horror, weird dream shit, later smut.)

Chapter Teaser:
You are too open. You are defenseless. You are not a vessel for voices, you are a fleetbeast dead center on the highway, you have no foreknowledge of what you are about to endure, you will be destroyed, insane. You are not yourself. You are so young.

You know who you are.
You know who you are.

Chapter 1 * Chapter 2 * Chapter 3

can you get high on cardamom, is that a thing @ 02:26 pm

mindtrack: high on cardamom

PEOPLE, you guys, sometimes they are just AWESOME.

Like when the quiet girl with the headscarf brings in a carafe of what she rather vaguely calls Arabic coffee and cups for sharing
and it's almost more fresh cardamom than coffee and there are these flowery notes too that you can't identify and it's like the best thing ever
and you go "wow this is amazing do you know if any restaurants around town serve coffee like this"
and she goes "no it's my family recipe, here, have some more, I'm going to bring it to class every Wednesday"

and she looks familiar, so you tell her about your autism spectrum disorder and prosopagnosia, because you try to be upfront about that especially when talking with people of color so that they won't have to feel like it's a race thing when you get confused (ah, intersectionality problems)

and she tells you it's okay and she loves the fact that you're a walking dictionary and you both get to talking about how everyone has different brains and it's okay

and it turns out that you were in a class together a couple years ago
the one where you were the designated loud heckler, and everyone either loved or hated it and still remembers you (she loved it)

and you find out that you're the same age and having the same career trajectory doubts and questions even though all the life reasons for why it's a problem are different ones
and it just helps so much right now.


January 3rd, 2013

Wires and Stars: Initiation (Homestuck fanfic; rated M) @ 09:25 pm

mindtrack: excited excited

A longfic begun, a crosspost made...

Wires and Stars: Initiation, by amberite & titianArchivist.

First chapter of the Sollux/Psiioniic fic I've been babbling about. (Additionally Sollux/Aradia pale - which is the most major pairing in this chapter, and there will be some Sollux/Karkat, and more pairings added as they appear.)

The first time, you just dream of strange stars. Stars rise at the top of your vision and arc lazily down to the bottom, constellation after constellation, galaxy after galaxy, and you wake with an effortless sense of great distance and deep calm that stays with you half the night.

Perigees pass before you’re willing to question it, to investigate what the hell that was all about, and by that time, things have gotten
entirely out of hand.

You’re well aware that you’re half crazy. Maybe it’s just your mutant thinkpan acting up. The alternative... you don’t want to think about the alternative.

Warnings at AO3. So far, they are the usual warnings for all things Helmsman-fic.

The Music of the Synapses

this tightrope made of sound